If I go by the arrival Christmas merchandise on shelves and the first time I hear “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" over a store’s sound system, the “most wonderful time of the year” begins in mid-September, and kicks off in earnest the day after Halloween.
Even so, I obstinately persist in defining “the holidays” as beginning around Thanksgiving and ending soon after New Year’s Day. As an adult, I’ve generally found that these six weeks stir up challenging emotions, as well moments of joy and togetherness. Sometimes simultaneously.
Even so, I obstinately persist in defining “the holidays” as beginning around Thanksgiving and ending soon after New Year’s Day. As an adult, I’ve generally found that these six weeks stir up challenging emotions, as well moments of joy and togetherness. Sometimes simultaneously.
But when I’ve struggled with depression during the “hap-happiest season of all,” I become trapped in what a friend of mine describes as a “web of bad.” Really bad. Each crushing thought becomes twisted with another, and another. The silken threads of self-judgement intertwine and grow stronger. The web becomes bigger, stickier, and harder to escape. And everyone around me seems like they are on a different planet. A very merry planet.
Over the years, I’ve become aware that I’m not alone in my trepidation, or outright dread, of the holiday season. So between now and 2017, I’ll be rolling out a series of blog posts as part of “Dawn’s Personal Guide to Having a Good Enough Holiday Season!”
It’s a “personal guide,” because it’s coming very much from my perspective, with the hope that others will connect with my specific bundle of experiences and observations. Perhaps most relevant to this endeavor is that I celebrate Christmas as a somewhat religious but mostly secular holiday, with a strong focus on family. And presents. And food.
Aiming for a “good enough holiday season,” is very much in alignment with my belief that lowering expectations never hurts, and often makes it much easier to participate in the world around me, which then reduces my sense of isolation and shame, which then makes it easier to participate. What possibilities exist beyond the Grinch's cynicism and the dizzy euphoria of "The Happiest Christmas Tree"? I'm curious to find out.
Learn more about my "good enough" philosophy in “The 80% Manifesto," part of Bipolar Girl Rules the World. Check out the work-in-progress here, with illustrations by Emily Ensminger and music by Chuck Johnson.
I’m basically writing an advice column for myself and hoping I’ll heed my own good sense. (I'll let you know how it goes.) And maybe what I have to say will resound with some of you, too.
Please add your own holidays stories and your suggestions for surviving — or even thriving — during this holiday season.
Thanks much to Carolina Partners in Mental Healthcare for agreeing that this endeavor was a good idea! And as always, for their support of Cracked [the blog] and Bipolar Girl Rules the World.
best,
Dawn
Thanks much to Carolina Partners in Mental Healthcare for agreeing that this endeavor was a good idea! And as always, for their support of Cracked [the blog] and Bipolar Girl Rules the World.
best,
Dawn